Monthly Outcome
- increased savings by 1/3
- paid off 2 medical bills
- Cash flowed an extra expense for my school
Monday, December 7, 2015
Thanksgiving During the Month of November
November was a challenging month for us. More so for me I suppose, Brian didn't express that he had worries as much as I did. I've learned that he keeps most of his worrying on the inside, as for me, well lets just say I vocalize 99.9% of mine. Challenges included a significant decrease in our monthly income, I think this month has the lowest amount of gross income in the past seven months we've been on this journey. I resigned form my full-time position at the end of October for personal reasons (that I don't want to share here on this blog). It was out of character for me, and we maintained the rest of the month, and have still managed to move forward into November. We are facing Christmas and four birthdays in the next 2 months here at the Merrick house. We also love this time and both Brian and I have a hard time not splurging during the holidays. Hopefully we will continue progressing despite the holiday season.
Monthly Outcome
Monthly Outcome
Sunday, November 1, 2015
October Update
October was the second highest month for us in grossed pay. We worked very hard, and we had a great month for bonuses. This was a blessing, especially considering our expenses for our family trip. We also met our goals for the month. October was also a rough month emotionally for me due to some unforeseen changes with my employment. Without going into a great amount of detail I will just say that I am praying for God to open another door for me in my career. I have left the Family Practice were I was working, and I am waiting to see what God is going to do with my future career as an APRN.
Now I want to also say that this little job adjustment of mine would not really have been possible had we not saved extra money in addition to our emergency fund. According to Dave's plan $1000.00 in the emergency fund is acceptable, and everything else should be put straight toward debt. We have changed this step for us by adding to the emergency fund every month and including that in our monthly budget. Christmas is coming up and I am starting to worry about the outcome. Although we have saved a little all year it seems that we never have enough, maybe this year it will be different. I would like to still pay off debt, even though we have double the expenses with our shopping and all.
GOALS: Made above what we budgeted again, Three months in a row. Met all of our expenses, and paid all bills on time even early. Paid off 3 major bills, 1 credit card, 1 medical bill, and 1 unexpected college bill. Increased our savings account.
GOALS for next Month: Bring home projected income, maybe more. Will be anxiously waiting to see the result given I'm out of a full-time job. Try to pay at least one small bill off this month. Increase our Christmas savings money by $500.00. Save for new tires for the vehicle, hope to purchase them with cash by the end of December (in the 14 years we've been married we have always financed our tires, what an accomplishment to pay with cash). We also have to pay to have the boat winterized.
I will keep you posted on our progress, please pray that God will provide me with a great new job opportunity.
Now I want to also say that this little job adjustment of mine would not really have been possible had we not saved extra money in addition to our emergency fund. According to Dave's plan $1000.00 in the emergency fund is acceptable, and everything else should be put straight toward debt. We have changed this step for us by adding to the emergency fund every month and including that in our monthly budget. Christmas is coming up and I am starting to worry about the outcome. Although we have saved a little all year it seems that we never have enough, maybe this year it will be different. I would like to still pay off debt, even though we have double the expenses with our shopping and all.
GOALS: Made above what we budgeted again, Three months in a row. Met all of our expenses, and paid all bills on time even early. Paid off 3 major bills, 1 credit card, 1 medical bill, and 1 unexpected college bill. Increased our savings account.
GOALS for next Month: Bring home projected income, maybe more. Will be anxiously waiting to see the result given I'm out of a full-time job. Try to pay at least one small bill off this month. Increase our Christmas savings money by $500.00. Save for new tires for the vehicle, hope to purchase them with cash by the end of December (in the 14 years we've been married we have always financed our tires, what an accomplishment to pay with cash). We also have to pay to have the boat winterized.
I will keep you posted on our progress, please pray that God will provide me with a great new job opportunity.
Trips on a Budget
Every October we travel with my extended family to TN for a long weekend filled with shopping, fun, and memories. We have participated in this tradition for 13 years now, and we know a year in advance when, where and how much it will be. Do you think we are ever really financially prepared for this event? Well of course not, we are normal people remember? Every year we say "next year we will put money back so when we come down we will have the funds necessary to shop til we drop, and let the kids run wild on go-carts, and roller coasters" then life happens and before you know it we are leaving in 2 days for our trip, it's not been paid for, and we have no money for the fun stuff, not even enough to eat out. This is where we used to mess up every year, we would shop (a little), and let the kids play (a little) then come home and find that we had spent bill money on our trip, and the cycle goes on and on....... Creatures of habit remember? What does Dave say? "Finances are 80% behavior and 20% head knowledge" I want to recap our trip from a financial perspective.
The Good;
Brian and I discussed the money plan twice before we left for our trip. We both decided what activities and shopping we wanted to do, and we planned our meals too. I am proud of us for doing this, I think it was a big help this year. We did have our trip paid for prior to us leaving, that's a plus too! We also had a decent amount of cash on us, and we planned on using cash only. We collaborated on what activities we thought the kids and our pocket book would enjoy. We stuck to the eating out plan.
The Bad;
We did use cash on almost everything we purchased, however there were a few stores we used our debit card in, and before we knew it we had spent much more than we had planned on. We bought clothes for the kids mostly, and both Brian and I got a few items of clothing too. Nothing elaborate, but things that we needed. However, we should have saved more money. I underestimated how much money it takes to buy clothes these days. We ran out of a few food items that required us stopping at the store to get a few things.
The Overall;
Mostly I am proud of us, and how we managed our trip this year. I added our total expenses up for this year, and plan on increasing our budget for next year's trip by double. One day we will get this process down to a science, but I cannot tell you how proud I am of both my husband and I. Our behavior is changing for the better!
The Good;
Brian and I discussed the money plan twice before we left for our trip. We both decided what activities and shopping we wanted to do, and we planned our meals too. I am proud of us for doing this, I think it was a big help this year. We did have our trip paid for prior to us leaving, that's a plus too! We also had a decent amount of cash on us, and we planned on using cash only. We collaborated on what activities we thought the kids and our pocket book would enjoy. We stuck to the eating out plan.
The Bad;
We did use cash on almost everything we purchased, however there were a few stores we used our debit card in, and before we knew it we had spent much more than we had planned on. We bought clothes for the kids mostly, and both Brian and I got a few items of clothing too. Nothing elaborate, but things that we needed. However, we should have saved more money. I underestimated how much money it takes to buy clothes these days. We ran out of a few food items that required us stopping at the store to get a few things.
The Overall;
Mostly I am proud of us, and how we managed our trip this year. I added our total expenses up for this year, and plan on increasing our budget for next year's trip by double. One day we will get this process down to a science, but I cannot tell you how proud I am of both my husband and I. Our behavior is changing for the better!
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
September Update
The agony of living paycheck to paycheck has taken a toll on me, and I believe on Brian too! Although he has not verbalized it, I know that if I'm feeling it he is too. I have found that on many days when I am weak he has been strong enough for us both! I did start my new PT job this month, and so far so good! It's a lot different from what I am doing on a daily biases and that has it's good points. Brian has been a good sport this month and has allowed me to work outside the home for extra money while he has been running kids to and from many different activities. I had to miss a couple of days of work due to a health problem I am having with one of my knees. I have been humbled through this process to say the least. My how I take so many things for granted each and everyday. Just having the ability to get up everyday and get the little things done is a blessing we so often forget to acknowledge, or at least I know I did. I am on the mend though.
We have been more tight for money this month, and mostly because of the extra expenses we have had for various reasons (college stuff, PT bills, Medical bills, eating out a lot more than normal, etc.) This morning while looking through the pantry I noticed how barren it has become. Little extra things we used to keep in there have been used. Not much left to eat in there, don't get me wrong we won't starve however we have kept the grocery bill as tight as possible and now we are seeing the results. Over the last two weeks I haven't been able to walk let alone meal plan and grocery shop. Brian went last week and did really good on the budget! Today I made the meal plan for the next two weeks, which is something different. With weekly income we have been shopping once a week, but there won't be income next week (because I missed a day of work) so it's grocery shopping for 13 days this time. We will follow that by going on a small weekend getaway with my extended family. I have been brain storming on activities, food, shopping and kennel costs for the dog for about 2 weeks now. The trip is paid for (thanks to an unexpected bonus from work). Last year when we went we didn't eat out at all, we took food and everyone cooked saving us a lot of money. It was hard to tell the kids "No" to extra stuff, and to not have the means to buy their fall clothes like always but I didn't die from it. This is a process!!!! Remember it's 20% head knowledge and 80% behavior modification.
Here is the update:
1. Made approx. $500.00 more than projected
2. Paid off two extra bills (one credit card, fall trip)
3. Increased our savings account amount
So onward march we go into the next month!!! Goals for the next month include paying off another small credit card bill. A few medical bills, and an unexpected college bill.
We have been more tight for money this month, and mostly because of the extra expenses we have had for various reasons (college stuff, PT bills, Medical bills, eating out a lot more than normal, etc.) This morning while looking through the pantry I noticed how barren it has become. Little extra things we used to keep in there have been used. Not much left to eat in there, don't get me wrong we won't starve however we have kept the grocery bill as tight as possible and now we are seeing the results. Over the last two weeks I haven't been able to walk let alone meal plan and grocery shop. Brian went last week and did really good on the budget! Today I made the meal plan for the next two weeks, which is something different. With weekly income we have been shopping once a week, but there won't be income next week (because I missed a day of work) so it's grocery shopping for 13 days this time. We will follow that by going on a small weekend getaway with my extended family. I have been brain storming on activities, food, shopping and kennel costs for the dog for about 2 weeks now. The trip is paid for (thanks to an unexpected bonus from work). Last year when we went we didn't eat out at all, we took food and everyone cooked saving us a lot of money. It was hard to tell the kids "No" to extra stuff, and to not have the means to buy their fall clothes like always but I didn't die from it. This is a process!!!! Remember it's 20% head knowledge and 80% behavior modification.
Here is the update:
1. Made approx. $500.00 more than projected
2. Paid off two extra bills (one credit card, fall trip)
3. Increased our savings account amount
So onward march we go into the next month!!! Goals for the next month include paying off another small credit card bill. A few medical bills, and an unexpected college bill.
Friday, August 21, 2015
Making it each tough week
I find myself repeating the same sentence each week, and it is hard to feel like this over and over again. "We only have this much money until the next payday" Brian is becoming discouraged by this reality each and every week, and I feel that way to. We have made small progress and I am happy to report that we have paid off three smaller debts (beef purchase last fall, credit card, and one of many hospital bills) so I am very happy about that. Once I did summarized the month of July and told Brian, he felt a little better about our situation. I tried to stick to the budget as much as possible, however the first two weeks the kids were back in school tensions were high. We survived though!
Our July goals were met:
1.) We met our income goal.
2.) We aimed to pay off those exact bills and we did
3.) I didn't guilt myself into blowing the budget for back to school stuff.
I think it's important to record your goals in the beginning of each month so that you have a written plan. Let everyone know what those goals are each month, encourage them to help save money any way possible to reach those goals together. I do our goals by myself still. I tell Brian the plan after I come up with it. Then at the end of the month I give Brian the report. He seems to be okay with this way of doing things, but I think he is in a constant state of disgust about how little extra money we have to do things we want to do. Maybe in the future he will partake in the budget planning with me. I think he is enjoying a little break form all the stress that goes along with our finances, I can't say I blame him.
Right now I would say we are still in the survival mode. Money is there but very, very tight. Money in the savings account, but not as much as we should have. We are tired of working six and seven days a week and still feel like we have no money. This is the sad and pathetic reality of being a slave to the lender, this is why debt id dumb and cash is king. We are reaping what we have sown. We refuse to give up though, we are pushing through the frustration.
Our July goals were met:
1.) We met our income goal.
2.) We aimed to pay off those exact bills and we did
3.) I didn't guilt myself into blowing the budget for back to school stuff.
I think it's important to record your goals in the beginning of each month so that you have a written plan. Let everyone know what those goals are each month, encourage them to help save money any way possible to reach those goals together. I do our goals by myself still. I tell Brian the plan after I come up with it. Then at the end of the month I give Brian the report. He seems to be okay with this way of doing things, but I think he is in a constant state of disgust about how little extra money we have to do things we want to do. Maybe in the future he will partake in the budget planning with me. I think he is enjoying a little break form all the stress that goes along with our finances, I can't say I blame him.
Right now I would say we are still in the survival mode. Money is there but very, very tight. Money in the savings account, but not as much as we should have. We are tired of working six and seven days a week and still feel like we have no money. This is the sad and pathetic reality of being a slave to the lender, this is why debt id dumb and cash is king. We are reaping what we have sown. We refuse to give up though, we are pushing through the frustration.
Pushing Through Frustration
I can not prepare you enough for the amount of frustration that will come during unexpected "budget parasites"...... There will be months/weeks depending on how you prepare for your budget when things will appear out of no where. These are the "parasites" that will try to destroy your budget, make you swear, make you cry, or partake in other bad behaviors.... Hang in there and push through the frustration.
This week school starts back (Thank God!) but with that comes the annual school shopping trips. This is one area that Brian and I haven't prepared for in the past. Before this journey we didn't live on a budget. So to put things in perspective we would buy their stuff when we got paid, which also meant we would use bill money to buy stuff... This means bills didn't get paid on time, late fees, disconnect letters, phone messages from creditors and so you get the picture here. THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO DO THINGS!!!!!! This month I didn't budget for school supplies because in the years past our kids didn't require many items for school. I have received one list of supplies, but now we are dealing with college supplies for the oldest. I could scream right now....... but I won't I will push through this frustration. Being prepared is the only way to win little battles like these. Failing to prepare= preparing to fail.
We do have a school expense envelop, however because we were so behind on our bills we haven't filled them yet. We were planning on doing that this month. So I will have to get creative with the money, I am picking up two extra, extra shifts to help too. Another month of "budget parasites" again. When these things happen to you, and they will, just remember that it takes several months of budgeting to get it right. We have money in our emergency fund, however back to school supplies are not an emergency.
When it comes to back to school clothes, don't fall victim to societies claims of all things new!!!! Your children have been wearing clothes, and shoes all summer, Do they really need a new wardrobe to go sit and play at school???? I don't think so. Be smart, don't think because everyone else is buying their kids new things that you are a crappy parent when you don't. You are protecting your family by being wise with your money.
Tips for back to school
This week school starts back (Thank God!) but with that comes the annual school shopping trips. This is one area that Brian and I haven't prepared for in the past. Before this journey we didn't live on a budget. So to put things in perspective we would buy their stuff when we got paid, which also meant we would use bill money to buy stuff... This means bills didn't get paid on time, late fees, disconnect letters, phone messages from creditors and so you get the picture here. THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO DO THINGS!!!!!! This month I didn't budget for school supplies because in the years past our kids didn't require many items for school. I have received one list of supplies, but now we are dealing with college supplies for the oldest. I could scream right now....... but I won't I will push through this frustration. Being prepared is the only way to win little battles like these. Failing to prepare= preparing to fail.
We do have a school expense envelop, however because we were so behind on our bills we haven't filled them yet. We were planning on doing that this month. So I will have to get creative with the money, I am picking up two extra, extra shifts to help too. Another month of "budget parasites" again. When these things happen to you, and they will, just remember that it takes several months of budgeting to get it right. We have money in our emergency fund, however back to school supplies are not an emergency.
When it comes to back to school clothes, don't fall victim to societies claims of all things new!!!! Your children have been wearing clothes, and shoes all summer, Do they really need a new wardrobe to go sit and play at school???? I don't think so. Be smart, don't think because everyone else is buying their kids new things that you are a crappy parent when you don't. You are protecting your family by being wise with your money.
Tips for back to school
- New clothes are not needed 99% of the time
- Reuse back packs if possible
- Let the kids help pick out school supplies, but let them choose budget friendly items.
- Purchase off brand items if possible, and use price matching at stores. This will help get the best bang for your buck while most stores are having back to school sales.
Monday, July 27, 2015
Making a creative dinner for two nights
Feeding a family our size has it's challenges. Buying our groceries on a tight budget is the biggest challenge. This week we only budgeted for dinner at home a couple of nights, due to kids activities and other things. So I tried to keep our grocery bill even tighter this week. So I decided to make the same meal for two nights, but who wants left overs all the time? This is where you have to get creative. Maybe there is a meal that your family loves that is easy on your wallet, try fixing it two different ways. Here is what I did this week; three pound roll of hamburger $9.00, French Bread $1.00, Extra large bottle of spaghetti sauce $5.00, bag of salad $2.50.
First night spaghetti, salad, french bread. With plans for tomorrow night as follows; baked spaghetti, salad, french bread. Dessert cupcakes left over from the football cookout! Not totally different but enough different that the kids aren't complaining.
Two meals, two nights for 7 people totaling $17.50/2.50 per person is good enough for us!
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Being the bad guy....
This debt free journey comes with many, many sacrifices. Most of which appears to be all sacrifices when you begin and you find yourself so far behind that you are three laps ahead. I find myself the bad guy 100% of the time. Most of the time this doesn't bother me I try to stay focused and be the leader in this area of our family life, but to be honest with you sometimes it just stinks!!!!!! I find that Brian is the free spirited one in our finances and I'm the dictator. He is always trying to find away to let the kids have what they want, and I'm always telling them no. So I have been the bad guy for the past three months since this began. I have said no so much that now I find that when I say no, Brian just gets this look on his face. I can't tell if his look is one of disappointment, unhappiness, or one that just says "I'm going do whatever I want, and I will get my way".
Last night while we we're sitting out on our boat, Brian said "We have to get Harrison a shotgun before this fall" and I just said "oh no we don't, that's not in the budget". then I just got the look!!!! It made me so frustrated, I just quit talking about it. Then as we we're leaving I said "you should save your spending money and buy him a gun with that money" Brian replied " I think I will just do that." Nothing else was said about it and that's that.
I was thinking about that as I fell asleep last night, and here is what I have concluded. I feel very alone in this journey!!!! Yes Brian is not spending money, and Yes he is working OT shifts but I feel like that is all he is doing!!!!! No one is encouraging me on my bad days, no one is saying "hey we are really doing a great job at this" I find the only encouragement I am getting is through Youtube and blogs about others debt free journey. It makes me angry that Brian is not as involved as I think he should be. Today I feel like I am up against the world when it comes to our financial mess. I hope that I master the art of being the bad guy.......
Last night while we we're sitting out on our boat, Brian said "We have to get Harrison a shotgun before this fall" and I just said "oh no we don't, that's not in the budget". then I just got the look!!!! It made me so frustrated, I just quit talking about it. Then as we we're leaving I said "you should save your spending money and buy him a gun with that money" Brian replied " I think I will just do that." Nothing else was said about it and that's that.
I was thinking about that as I fell asleep last night, and here is what I have concluded. I feel very alone in this journey!!!! Yes Brian is not spending money, and Yes he is working OT shifts but I feel like that is all he is doing!!!!! No one is encouraging me on my bad days, no one is saying "hey we are really doing a great job at this" I find the only encouragement I am getting is through Youtube and blogs about others debt free journey. It makes me angry that Brian is not as involved as I think he should be. Today I feel like I am up against the world when it comes to our financial mess. I hope that I master the art of being the bad guy.......
Encouragement
I want to share this small post with you about encouragement. A week or so ago Brian and I were talking in the car about money, imagine that right, needless to say I believe the conversation was about tithing and how I felt that we needed to give faithfully and how I thought that would help us in many different ways. Brian commented that according to "Dave" you pay debt off first then you give like crazy. I corrected him in saying that is not what "Dave" said. The truth is all of it is God's money anyway, and that I felt like we we're intentional in paying bills, and trying to stick to our budget but that we didn't pay God first, and he wasn't included in our budget. Brian didn't say a whole lot back, and I just changed the subject.
So this past week after I prayed and pondered for a several days over it I decided to sacrifice a few things and pay our tithe first. I did this without consulting with Brian, because when I am paying bills I still don't explain to him what we're paying each week. He doesn't go out of his way to ask me, so I don't go out of my way to tell him. The past two paychecks Brian hasn't inquired about the bills. I have just sat down and sent them off myself. No problem.
Here is the encouraging part I wanted to share with you, I have been in my new job about three months. I gave to God first this past week, and prayed that there would be enough money to get through til Friday. The very same day that our tithe money cleared the bank, I got an unexpected bonus at my work, that was more than my tithe. Not to mention that we went over on our grocery bill this week, and we still have extra money in our account to apply next week! I cried on my drive home the other day and Thanked our mighty God for all his mighty blessings and faithfulness... Keep the faith even through the storm.
So this past week after I prayed and pondered for a several days over it I decided to sacrifice a few things and pay our tithe first. I did this without consulting with Brian, because when I am paying bills I still don't explain to him what we're paying each week. He doesn't go out of his way to ask me, so I don't go out of my way to tell him. The past two paychecks Brian hasn't inquired about the bills. I have just sat down and sent them off myself. No problem.
Here is the encouraging part I wanted to share with you, I have been in my new job about three months. I gave to God first this past week, and prayed that there would be enough money to get through til Friday. The very same day that our tithe money cleared the bank, I got an unexpected bonus at my work, that was more than my tithe. Not to mention that we went over on our grocery bill this week, and we still have extra money in our account to apply next week! I cried on my drive home the other day and Thanked our mighty God for all his mighty blessings and faithfulness... Keep the faith even through the storm.
Friday, July 17, 2015
Plastic Surgery
"Plastic surgery" is Dave Ramsey's way of saying cut up all the credit cards. This is another area that is challenging for most of us normal people. For me it is a sense of security and although we don't use them now, we have in the past thus we must do operation.... We use them as a crutch when really the emergency fund should be what we use in... well an emergency! So cut them up if you have them. You don't encourage recovering alcoholics to hang out in a bar, or a pill head hang out in a pharmacy so use common sense here people. Git rid of the plastic.....
Yes, this is what's left after plastic surgery, however not all of these cards had debt on them. They all went through the shredder, and accounts were closed!!!!
Where to Start
The first time we looked at all of our bills, & debt we both were overwhelmed to say the least!!! Probably one of the hardest things I have had to go through in a very long time, maybe my entire life. Both Brian and I were speechless. I cried, and yelled a little bit, tried to find someone or something to blame for this disaster, I mean after all there was no way it was my fault right???? After a few minutes of silence we both started throwing out ideas to eliminate this mess, but the reality of the situation is it took 13 years to create this mess, and it will take possibly 13 years to get out of this mess. I felt sick to my stomach, and all I could do was cry, I felt like such a failure. How can two really intelligent people with Masters degrees be some dumb??? Even more how can two Christians be so immature and irresponsible with the money that the Lord has given us???
Obviously when you have more going out then coming in you have to either get rid of stuff, or find an opportunity to make more money and in our case maybe both. It's a hard thing to do, work full-time, be a full-time partner, and be a parent, but our options are limited. We both decided to work extra jobs. But there are things that have to be changed to get ahead. Dave Ramsey often states that this process is "80% behavioral, and 20% brain power." After putting our resources together we discovered that it would be beneficial to work the entire month of April as much as possible to get a jump start on our bills that were currently behind. When we started this process we had several, and I mean several bills that were behind. The stuff that could be taken from the lender was caught up for the majority however, when I was going through the bills I only found one that had a current account. This is very embarrassing to admit!!! I was slowing becoming anxious when taking our kids to daycare, wondering if they would let them stay the day knowing that we owed them money from the previous months. We even owed Brian's mom and dad money, and one of my family members money! Pride is so hard to hurt when it's your own. Dave Ramsey always says "act your wage" Brian and I weren't acting our wage at all. We weren't intentionally not paying people, we really just didn't have the money. One of the hardest things for me to admit, but I am really trying to be transparent here...... Brian and I hadn't been able to tithe regularly in years. I know not everyone reading this will get what I just wrote, or agree with this philosophy and I plan on addressing this later in future blogs but this is a major concern in my life.
What I decided to do was to list all the small bills first, then come up with a plan to get all the regular monthly bills caught back up. April was a great month for us because we had a little more wiggle room. I was finally finished with school, so I could pick up overtime, Brian was working overtime too. I was able to make small dints in the little bills, but what really helped us was the budget allowed us to look ahead into May, and come up with a plan of attack. We paid a substantial amount of bills up and even paid on extra stuff. We had car tags, boat tags, and our HOA fees all due by the end of May. Luckily we were able to get those paid off, and even a few small medical bills paid. We even reached out to some of our lenders and explained to them what was going on, and they were willing to work with us. By the end of May we had two house payments caught up, afterschool program for the kids paid off, and a few more. Brian sold his beloved truck that we have had since before we were married, and although it didn't bring in a lot of money it helped us get caught up. We ended the month feeling better, still strapped for extra money but we had a plan. We didn't eat out, we didn't buy anything that wasn't a necessity the entire month of May. We even started explaining to the kids that we were getting out of debt and that money was going be tight for a little while.
Difficult areas for us would be that 80% of the finances we don't agree on. Brian would probably tell you that I am not practical when it comes to money issues. If I had it my way I would sell the boat, trade in the suburban for an older model, turn off everything but the water and electric. I would say that when it comes to Brian's take on things it's okay to have debt, just as long as you have enough to pay your bills and still have money left over to do whatever you want all the time. I can't help but wonder how two people with such opposing ideas on money ended up together. Brian gets upset when he doesn't get to go buy the stuff he wants to, where I have learned that that's the way things have to be to reach our goals. Most of you all might find that this is true in your relationship too! Two totally opposing philosophies. In this situation I would advise you to be patient with this process, again change is hard for everyone. Remind yourself that you and your partner are on the same team.
I am working on compromising more, especially when I am budgeting for the month. I have the idea in my head that because I don't eat out a lot, and I am not spending extra money on myself, that nobody else should either. That's not fair, budget fairly. If I make it totally miserable then they won't be able to survive the war. And it's a WAR people, debt is the enemy. Be mindful of request in the budget by all parties, make goals as a team.
Obviously when you have more going out then coming in you have to either get rid of stuff, or find an opportunity to make more money and in our case maybe both. It's a hard thing to do, work full-time, be a full-time partner, and be a parent, but our options are limited. We both decided to work extra jobs. But there are things that have to be changed to get ahead. Dave Ramsey often states that this process is "80% behavioral, and 20% brain power." After putting our resources together we discovered that it would be beneficial to work the entire month of April as much as possible to get a jump start on our bills that were currently behind. When we started this process we had several, and I mean several bills that were behind. The stuff that could be taken from the lender was caught up for the majority however, when I was going through the bills I only found one that had a current account. This is very embarrassing to admit!!! I was slowing becoming anxious when taking our kids to daycare, wondering if they would let them stay the day knowing that we owed them money from the previous months. We even owed Brian's mom and dad money, and one of my family members money! Pride is so hard to hurt when it's your own. Dave Ramsey always says "act your wage" Brian and I weren't acting our wage at all. We weren't intentionally not paying people, we really just didn't have the money. One of the hardest things for me to admit, but I am really trying to be transparent here...... Brian and I hadn't been able to tithe regularly in years. I know not everyone reading this will get what I just wrote, or agree with this philosophy and I plan on addressing this later in future blogs but this is a major concern in my life.
What I decided to do was to list all the small bills first, then come up with a plan to get all the regular monthly bills caught back up. April was a great month for us because we had a little more wiggle room. I was finally finished with school, so I could pick up overtime, Brian was working overtime too. I was able to make small dints in the little bills, but what really helped us was the budget allowed us to look ahead into May, and come up with a plan of attack. We paid a substantial amount of bills up and even paid on extra stuff. We had car tags, boat tags, and our HOA fees all due by the end of May. Luckily we were able to get those paid off, and even a few small medical bills paid. We even reached out to some of our lenders and explained to them what was going on, and they were willing to work with us. By the end of May we had two house payments caught up, afterschool program for the kids paid off, and a few more. Brian sold his beloved truck that we have had since before we were married, and although it didn't bring in a lot of money it helped us get caught up. We ended the month feeling better, still strapped for extra money but we had a plan. We didn't eat out, we didn't buy anything that wasn't a necessity the entire month of May. We even started explaining to the kids that we were getting out of debt and that money was going be tight for a little while.
Difficult areas for us would be that 80% of the finances we don't agree on. Brian would probably tell you that I am not practical when it comes to money issues. If I had it my way I would sell the boat, trade in the suburban for an older model, turn off everything but the water and electric. I would say that when it comes to Brian's take on things it's okay to have debt, just as long as you have enough to pay your bills and still have money left over to do whatever you want all the time. I can't help but wonder how two people with such opposing ideas on money ended up together. Brian gets upset when he doesn't get to go buy the stuff he wants to, where I have learned that that's the way things have to be to reach our goals. Most of you all might find that this is true in your relationship too! Two totally opposing philosophies. In this situation I would advise you to be patient with this process, again change is hard for everyone. Remind yourself that you and your partner are on the same team.
I am working on compromising more, especially when I am budgeting for the month. I have the idea in my head that because I don't eat out a lot, and I am not spending extra money on myself, that nobody else should either. That's not fair, budget fairly. If I make it totally miserable then they won't be able to survive the war. And it's a WAR people, debt is the enemy. Be mindful of request in the budget by all parties, make goals as a team.
Budgeting
In our introduction post I failed to mention that out of the 13 years Brian and I have been married I would say we have lived by a budget about a year on and off. Dave Ramsey's strategy is to learn how to budget and save, and with the two you can get out of debt. After hours sitting and going through the piles of bills laying around the house, I developed a very rough draft budget for our family. Brian did not have any input into this budget, against Dave Ramsey's advice. In FPU (Financial Peace University) it is recommended to sit down together and budget as a couple, it is both partners responsibility to take ownership and participate. Living on a budget is very hard in the beginning, so don't expect things to be perfect because you have everything written down. It is also said that it takes about 3 months for you to get all the kinks worked out, and in our case it may take more than that.
I want to add that my husband is not the reason for our financial problems, he is a wonderful, hardworking man and father. However, we do manage money completely opposite thus the reason I didn't include him in the first rough draft budget. I have since learned to include him in the budget because I should have in the beginning, I am still learning to work as a team with our money.
In April I sat down and configured our debt poster that sits right above my head at our desk. I included our debt, our budget, our financial goals, and some great bible verses that are truthful and encouraging at the same time. I read some where that making your goals visible helps keep you focused and on track, I also feel like it holds us accountable to whoever sees it, sometimes being transparent in areas of struggle in your life can be of a benefit.
I got out our sophisticated bill payment book (five star notebook from Wal-Mart). In this I have each and every bill listed with the due date, balance, and payment information listed. I have found that this note book is instrumental for us to pay our bills on time, and it allows me to look at the next paycheck/bills to come. I would recommend using a tool to help stay focused and organized. There is also the option to do your budget on the computer such as excel spreadsheets. My brother Greg showed me how to start one, however I have just found that for me I have to have something tangible in my hands.
I want to tell you all that before April of this year, I hadn't checked our bank account, or balanced a checkbook since 2012. I was foolish in my decision to live that way, I think that had I cared more about the money I would have done those things, instead of putting all that on Brian, and honey if you are reading this I am sorry for letting you deal with this mess on your own! So with that I want to encourage all of you all to look at your money very frequently. My husband would tell you that I'm obsessed with the budget book, but that's how I like to deal with it at this time. I look at our checking account at least daily on line, along with looking at the mail everyday, sorting out the junk from the bills. We also get paid every week at our jobs so I plan the next paycheck out a week in advance and pay bills each weeks as needed. Ultimately everyone may like to do this part a little different, but please check your account daily. We do participate in online banking, and any bill that I have that I can pay electronically I do. Again what ever works best for you to pay on time is fine. The most important key for me is staying organized. So I have two expandable folders, one for bills paid, the other for current bills along with a folder for tax documents. This is so important when tax season comes around and you are rushing around trying to find all the papers for filing. Stay organized. This container is home to items needed to complete our budget such as a calculator, highlighters, whiteout and etc.
Again it's whatever works best for you, but these are the things that help us.
I want to add that my husband is not the reason for our financial problems, he is a wonderful, hardworking man and father. However, we do manage money completely opposite thus the reason I didn't include him in the first rough draft budget. I have since learned to include him in the budget because I should have in the beginning, I am still learning to work as a team with our money.
In April I sat down and configured our debt poster that sits right above my head at our desk. I included our debt, our budget, our financial goals, and some great bible verses that are truthful and encouraging at the same time. I read some where that making your goals visible helps keep you focused and on track, I also feel like it holds us accountable to whoever sees it, sometimes being transparent in areas of struggle in your life can be of a benefit.
I got out our sophisticated bill payment book (five star notebook from Wal-Mart). In this I have each and every bill listed with the due date, balance, and payment information listed. I have found that this note book is instrumental for us to pay our bills on time, and it allows me to look at the next paycheck/bills to come. I would recommend using a tool to help stay focused and organized. There is also the option to do your budget on the computer such as excel spreadsheets. My brother Greg showed me how to start one, however I have just found that for me I have to have something tangible in my hands.
I want to tell you all that before April of this year, I hadn't checked our bank account, or balanced a checkbook since 2012. I was foolish in my decision to live that way, I think that had I cared more about the money I would have done those things, instead of putting all that on Brian, and honey if you are reading this I am sorry for letting you deal with this mess on your own! So with that I want to encourage all of you all to look at your money very frequently. My husband would tell you that I'm obsessed with the budget book, but that's how I like to deal with it at this time. I look at our checking account at least daily on line, along with looking at the mail everyday, sorting out the junk from the bills. We also get paid every week at our jobs so I plan the next paycheck out a week in advance and pay bills each weeks as needed. Ultimately everyone may like to do this part a little different, but please check your account daily. We do participate in online banking, and any bill that I have that I can pay electronically I do. Again what ever works best for you to pay on time is fine. The most important key for me is staying organized. So I have two expandable folders, one for bills paid, the other for current bills along with a folder for tax documents. This is so important when tax season comes around and you are rushing around trying to find all the papers for filing. Stay organized. This container is home to items needed to complete our budget such as a calculator, highlighters, whiteout and etc.
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Introduction
I have been contemplating back and forth about documenting our story for a few weeks now. My hope is that I will be able to find enough courage to share our down and dirty here on this blog without reservation. My pray is that it will be an outlet for me to release thoughts and experiences freely, and that it will be of help for others and encouragement to everyone that reads my words. My fear is that I may not be able to share our story with others out of disgust and shame!
Our backgrounds
Brian and I have been married for 13 years, and of that 13 years we have never been debt free! Both Brian and I grew up in loving families, both of which struggled financially. Brian and I both had completed college prior to us getting married, which allowed us to start our family out with a good income. However both Brian and I had student loans, car payments, and a few small credit card bills. We began building our first house a few months before our wedding, this house was affordable for our family at the time. So in the beginning we had it made, or so we thought. We were okay with our debt, we were able to make the payments. Then after a year and a half and the birth of our second son we decided that we needed a bigger house with land too. We found a fixer upper on 23 acres and we decided to go ahead and buy this house and rent our current house. Again, we were living the good life, or so we thought. We both began to work a few shifts of overtime to help with the expenses of having two mortgages, and the cash flow to finish the house we bought. Within a few months we were struggling, not to mention we were pregnant with our third son. The great renter we had left town, and we were able to find another renter but the rent was below the payment. We started to slowly begin a down hill tailspin. Brian was working six and seven days a week, bills were piling up and our marriage was beginning to be strained. Less than one year after purchasing our dream home we put it up for sale and prayed that God would find us a buyer asap. Within a few months we sold our 5000 square foot home, and decided to move into a townhouse a little bigger than 1200 sq. feet. People thought we were crazy, and at the time we were, crazy in debt that is! We moved the week of Thanksgiving, and shortly after the first of the year we sold our first home to the current renter. However we were so desperate to get rid of the mortgage that we made zero profit on it. We did make a decent profit off of our second home, and we used every penny to pay off the majority of our debt. I did some research and officially took over the finances, I made a budget and wrote down where every penny went. Within a year we had debt paid down to one vehicle payment, had a few thousand in our savings account and we thought we would live happily ever after. Then we decided to look for a home again, we even considered building a home. We by no means had 20% to put down on a house, and although I had improved our money situation I still didn't know squat about making smart moves when it came to the money. We bought our third home, which is where we currently reside to this day. The payment was affordable, and we were very happy to have more room for our growing family. We were in our house less than 4 weeks when we got the surprise news we were having another baby. My last pregnancy was, how should I say it?....... Horrible!!!!! God awful!!! Death!!!! I became very ill during the pregnancy, and I could barely work three days a week let alone any overtime. So the debt snowball melted, and we were making it but finding ourselves living paycheck to paycheck again with very little wiggle room.
Speed it up would you!
Fast forward it to after the baby was born. Brian had gone back for his BSN shortly after we got married, so his student loans were deferred still, we were paying on mine. Then I decided to go back for my BSN, and as I started my BSN we were just finished paying my ADN off. Few years later...... Brian started his masters so the debt we accumulated was just sitting there. I started my masters, so any hope of us working extra shifts vanished. Brian took over the bills in the fall of 2012 after I was laid off from work. I went without work for almost three months, and we were scared we would lose everything. God provided as always. Oh I forgot to mention that we were called to adopt a child from China too. I worked three jobs for 8 months to get money to complete our adoption process. So at this point we were completely broke!
Where are we now
Both Brian and I are done with school, we are both nurse practitioners now.Sound like a great life don't it? But behind the surface we are not so great, we owe a lot of money. I decided to take the helm of the ship back three months ago. Brian never told me how bad the finances were, he didn't want me to know. Down deep I knew there was more money going out then coming in, but I couldn't deal with the stress while I was finishing my degree. We don't fight really at all, and most people that know us know it's because Brian doesn't let my rants and temper tantrums get to him, and it's a good thing! We have had several fights since April, and a few of those have been major blowouts. Mostly because I spent three years in total darkness when it came to our money situation, and that's nobody's fault but my own.
Ownership and a plan
We have sat down together and looked at our finances, after the initial shock of it all we have decided to work as a family to change the way we spend money, and agree to hang in there until we get our debt paid down. Both Brian and I are working two jobs, we have made a new budget, and I have read Dave Ramsey's "Total Money Makeover" book. Brian says he's getting to it. Change is hard, and both Brian and I are learning to compromise. It is very hard though!!!! I am to extreme one way, and he is to extreme the other way. We have a long road ahead of us, many little battles to go to win the war, but Brian reminds me that we have come through a lot worse in the time we have been together. I have a commute to work everyday, and I am either listening to church, K-Love, or Dave Ramsey. I find it so encouraging to me, especially on days when I'm tired and frustrated.
First Steps
Baby steps (for those of you who know the steps)
Baby Step 1 $1000.00 Emergency Fund- will hopefully be reached by the end of this month. I am ashamed to admit that we had to get bills caught up in order to start putting money back. You know it's bad when you have to pay extra payments just to start living according to your budget. Dave Ramsey's plan is to put &$1000.00 back asap before starting your debt snowball. We have been able to pay all bills up to current, and fork out money to get our vehicle tags, boat tags, and maintenance on the boat.
Baby Step 2 Start paying off debt- We will be here forever........ Just kidding! We will be here for quite a while, so there will be many, many post about this subject. We have also put our current house on the market this week. We have plans to move to a smaller house, yes that's right a smaller house. So please pray that we will find a buyer soon. Moving would help us lower our mortgage and decrease our monthly expenses.
Our backgrounds
Brian and I have been married for 13 years, and of that 13 years we have never been debt free! Both Brian and I grew up in loving families, both of which struggled financially. Brian and I both had completed college prior to us getting married, which allowed us to start our family out with a good income. However both Brian and I had student loans, car payments, and a few small credit card bills. We began building our first house a few months before our wedding, this house was affordable for our family at the time. So in the beginning we had it made, or so we thought. We were okay with our debt, we were able to make the payments. Then after a year and a half and the birth of our second son we decided that we needed a bigger house with land too. We found a fixer upper on 23 acres and we decided to go ahead and buy this house and rent our current house. Again, we were living the good life, or so we thought. We both began to work a few shifts of overtime to help with the expenses of having two mortgages, and the cash flow to finish the house we bought. Within a few months we were struggling, not to mention we were pregnant with our third son. The great renter we had left town, and we were able to find another renter but the rent was below the payment. We started to slowly begin a down hill tailspin. Brian was working six and seven days a week, bills were piling up and our marriage was beginning to be strained. Less than one year after purchasing our dream home we put it up for sale and prayed that God would find us a buyer asap. Within a few months we sold our 5000 square foot home, and decided to move into a townhouse a little bigger than 1200 sq. feet. People thought we were crazy, and at the time we were, crazy in debt that is! We moved the week of Thanksgiving, and shortly after the first of the year we sold our first home to the current renter. However we were so desperate to get rid of the mortgage that we made zero profit on it. We did make a decent profit off of our second home, and we used every penny to pay off the majority of our debt. I did some research and officially took over the finances, I made a budget and wrote down where every penny went. Within a year we had debt paid down to one vehicle payment, had a few thousand in our savings account and we thought we would live happily ever after. Then we decided to look for a home again, we even considered building a home. We by no means had 20% to put down on a house, and although I had improved our money situation I still didn't know squat about making smart moves when it came to the money. We bought our third home, which is where we currently reside to this day. The payment was affordable, and we were very happy to have more room for our growing family. We were in our house less than 4 weeks when we got the surprise news we were having another baby. My last pregnancy was, how should I say it?....... Horrible!!!!! God awful!!! Death!!!! I became very ill during the pregnancy, and I could barely work three days a week let alone any overtime. So the debt snowball melted, and we were making it but finding ourselves living paycheck to paycheck again with very little wiggle room.
Speed it up would you!
Fast forward it to after the baby was born. Brian had gone back for his BSN shortly after we got married, so his student loans were deferred still, we were paying on mine. Then I decided to go back for my BSN, and as I started my BSN we were just finished paying my ADN off. Few years later...... Brian started his masters so the debt we accumulated was just sitting there. I started my masters, so any hope of us working extra shifts vanished. Brian took over the bills in the fall of 2012 after I was laid off from work. I went without work for almost three months, and we were scared we would lose everything. God provided as always. Oh I forgot to mention that we were called to adopt a child from China too. I worked three jobs for 8 months to get money to complete our adoption process. So at this point we were completely broke!
Where are we now
Both Brian and I are done with school, we are both nurse practitioners now.Sound like a great life don't it? But behind the surface we are not so great, we owe a lot of money. I decided to take the helm of the ship back three months ago. Brian never told me how bad the finances were, he didn't want me to know. Down deep I knew there was more money going out then coming in, but I couldn't deal with the stress while I was finishing my degree. We don't fight really at all, and most people that know us know it's because Brian doesn't let my rants and temper tantrums get to him, and it's a good thing! We have had several fights since April, and a few of those have been major blowouts. Mostly because I spent three years in total darkness when it came to our money situation, and that's nobody's fault but my own.
Ownership and a plan
We have sat down together and looked at our finances, after the initial shock of it all we have decided to work as a family to change the way we spend money, and agree to hang in there until we get our debt paid down. Both Brian and I are working two jobs, we have made a new budget, and I have read Dave Ramsey's "Total Money Makeover" book. Brian says he's getting to it. Change is hard, and both Brian and I are learning to compromise. It is very hard though!!!! I am to extreme one way, and he is to extreme the other way. We have a long road ahead of us, many little battles to go to win the war, but Brian reminds me that we have come through a lot worse in the time we have been together. I have a commute to work everyday, and I am either listening to church, K-Love, or Dave Ramsey. I find it so encouraging to me, especially on days when I'm tired and frustrated.
First Steps
Baby steps (for those of you who know the steps)
Baby Step 1 $1000.00 Emergency Fund- will hopefully be reached by the end of this month. I am ashamed to admit that we had to get bills caught up in order to start putting money back. You know it's bad when you have to pay extra payments just to start living according to your budget. Dave Ramsey's plan is to put &$1000.00 back asap before starting your debt snowball. We have been able to pay all bills up to current, and fork out money to get our vehicle tags, boat tags, and maintenance on the boat.
Baby Step 2 Start paying off debt- We will be here forever........ Just kidding! We will be here for quite a while, so there will be many, many post about this subject. We have also put our current house on the market this week. We have plans to move to a smaller house, yes that's right a smaller house. So please pray that we will find a buyer soon. Moving would help us lower our mortgage and decrease our monthly expenses.
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