This debt free journey comes with many, many sacrifices. Most of which appears to be all sacrifices when you begin and you find yourself so far behind that you are three laps ahead. I find myself the bad guy 100% of the time. Most of the time this doesn't bother me I try to stay focused and be the leader in this area of our family life, but to be honest with you sometimes it just stinks!!!!!! I find that Brian is the free spirited one in our finances and I'm the dictator. He is always trying to find away to let the kids have what they want, and I'm always telling them no. So I have been the bad guy for the past three months since this began. I have said no so much that now I find that when I say no, Brian just gets this look on his face. I can't tell if his look is one of disappointment, unhappiness, or one that just says "I'm going do whatever I want, and I will get my way".
Last night while we we're sitting out on our boat, Brian said "We have to get Harrison a shotgun before this fall" and I just said "oh no we don't, that's not in the budget". then I just got the look!!!! It made me so frustrated, I just quit talking about it. Then as we we're leaving I said "you should save your spending money and buy him a gun with that money" Brian replied " I think I will just do that." Nothing else was said about it and that's that.
I was thinking about that as I fell asleep last night, and here is what I have concluded. I feel very alone in this journey!!!! Yes Brian is not spending money, and Yes he is working OT shifts but I feel like that is all he is doing!!!!! No one is encouraging me on my bad days, no one is saying "hey we are really doing a great job at this" I find the only encouragement I am getting is through Youtube and blogs about others debt free journey. It makes me angry that Brian is not as involved as I think he should be. Today I feel like I am up against the world when it comes to our financial mess. I hope that I master the art of being the bad guy.......
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